(Please see ‘About’ for the purpose of this blog)
Bombings, suicides, political fights, hunger and poverty, etc etc. A frightening amount of happenings in the world right now and more that we probably aren’t even aware of. With all these BIGGER problems happening around the world and to people, do we have the right to be depressed?
We who have a home. Clean water. Toothbrush. Bathroom. Beds. Clothes. Education. Who are we to be depressed? From the children that are dying, from the plea calls to 911, from terrorists taking away lives as they want and please. Who are we to be depressed? We who have doctors when we’re sick and loved ones to care for us, even if it’s just one person. Why are we still depressed? Who the heck are we to be depressed?
I constantly battle with that thought when I hear yet another horrible news about the world again. “I am so blessed“, I tell myself while feeling immense guilt in the pit of my stomach because reality is that I still feel depressed. I mean, I have lost my job and people who I thought love and care for me, I have lost freedom of mobility and going down to the grocery store any time I want to. I can’t listen to my favourite rock music and head bang anymore without triggering the vertigo. I am miserable. I am depressed. The only other place I go to is the doctors, many doctors. And I AM DEPRESSED. Very depressed.
Depression seems merely an ant when compared to other BIGGER problems in the world, but why then would Mental Health Awareness exist? Suicide Awareness. Invisible Illness. It’s because our mental state can literally kill us inside and out and you can’t tell that a person is suffering just by looking at them. To even have to create awareness is a sad tale in itself. Depression CAN make us sick. And by sick, I mean physically sick.
[ Hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis: Basically, the main glands of stress that controls our reactions to stress and how the body responses. This is our stress response system, fight or flight. Besides working to our advantage most of the time, like avoiding a car crash or dashing forward to save the bookshelf from falling on a child, stress can develop acutely and chronically with severe effects on the body. ]
What does this have to do with depression you say?
Well, unfortunately we have receptors in our brain that binds us to our traumatic memories which can sometimes result in Post Traumatic Stress. Exposure to adrenaline and cortisol when our minds work overtime this way has such a bad impact on the body. It can make us sick. Literally. From heart diseases to high blood pressure and even increasing the risk of cancer!
A family friend once shared that she knew someone who got so stressed up when financial and construction problems came up while she was trying to build and start her own pre-school, developed cancer pretty quickly right after. An old man in my neighbourhood has his spine bent over making it very difficult to walk even with a cane. Apparently he was under tremendous stress for many, many years that gradually made him so sick. Another gentlemen I heard became so sick and had unbearable pains in both knees for many years that left him with great difficulty in walking. After attending a healing pray over, he found out the root cause of what caused his knees to hurt so bad. Un-forgiveness and resentment to his wife that left him and he was so stressed out by it that he became so sick! After he decided to let go of the past, he was immediately healed of his sickness and functioned normally again.
So now, yes depression – stress, emotional trauma, bad experiences can make you really sick. Wait a minute, but didn’t we cause this upon ourselves then? We should have controlled our feelings better. Trained our responses to being hurt better. My friends, no. We did not cause this upon ourselves. We can’t control whether we feel happy or sad. We can’t tell a person who is hurt to stop hurting.
As I quote John Green, “You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world.. but you do have some say in who hurts you”.
Though I beg to differ in the “you do have a say in who hurts you” part, because well. I am just a very sensitive person who even gets hurt by words from people I hardly know. Each time I feel suicidal or really down I look to people like Sophia who get by so strong and positive though cancer is robbing her of her life and she is so much younger than I. I listen to all the children and people on this youtube channel: Special Books by Special Kids who struggle with all sorts of illness and who can’t even control their body to behave they way they want it to and I beat myself up. Who am I to feel depressed?
But hey, you know what. I do have the right to be depressed. With most of my life experiences being so negative, impacting me in a harsh and negative way, there is no one to blame for being such a depressive. Things just happened that way, but all we have to do is to tell ourselves that this is not the state we want to be in. We did not choose to be depressed so no one should have the right to tell us what we feel, whether it is wrong or right. We shouldn’t even have to bother listening to their opinions. “Just get out of bed and do something you like” Dude, I don’t even have the will to get out of bed. *rolls eyes*
“It’s just mind over matter. You can change how you feel. Seeing psychiatric doctors are a waste of money. These thoughts are not real. Your depression is NOT REAL.”
So… are they saying that these psychiatric doctors spent so many years studying so hard and long on something that is not real? I may be only addressing depression in particular here which is my main issue but this applies to all other mental health issues as well.
WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE DEPRESSED.
No, we don’t mope about it or BRAG about it. We just want to be understood. To be heard. And for our mental and emotional struggles to be acknowledged. We don’t have to be babied with words like, “Everything’s gonna be okay. You’ll be fine. I’m here for you“. Please don’t feed us with lies. We are not okay and nothing is okay. Instead, just acknowledge what we are feeling and let us be for that moment. Then maybe you could just give us a hug and help us out of bed. Let us know how much you love us. That could be our strength to carry on. When the people who loves us and who we love acknowledge our battles and fight with us in that sense, makes it a step better. Don’t try to fix us and don’t try to carry us. Just acknowledge that depression is real. It is very, very real.
So to my fellow depressers (made up word), feel what you want to feel. That is your right, but tell yourself that you have to be strong and get better. You might fight depression your whole life, but each time you fall and pick yourself up, you’ll find that the spiral downwards gets lesser and lesser. :)
Until next time, smile and fight off the haters. Leave those who refuse to understand you. No one should have to fight to be understood.
*Apologies for any grammatical error. My dizziness is blurring my vision and fogging my mind a little today*
“Faith must remain even when understanding fails”
Be kind to one another,
Tweet me @Godvsdepression